


The Butterfly Effect

by Cyborgtamaki, TheCatfish



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note: Another Note
Genre: Alternate Universe, An insufferable amount of Wammy's banter, Drug Use, Gen, Suicide mention, Violence, more pairings to be announced
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyborgtamaki/pseuds/Cyborgtamaki, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCatfish/pseuds/TheCatfish
Summary: In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.Or alternatively, sometimes there's no use crying over spilt blood.





	1. Sic Semper Tyrannis

The gunshot was from so far away that it sounded like only a pop. L only had time to look up before it hit him. The smirking face of Coil only made it worse, as L noticed Deneuve fall beside him. L barely heard her scream. He stumbled back slightly as the bullet hit him, dropping to the ground like a stone. His entire leg felt like it was on fire, shooting pains radiating from his knee.

 

His arms behind his back, Coil approached L with a smug smirk. “You played well,” He said, withdrawing a knife from behind his back. L realised Coil’s plan immediately; you’d have to be an idiot not to. He tried to stand but his leg gave out before he could straighten up.

 

“Doesn’t help in the end, mostly because you were far too stupid to see this coming,” Coil lowered himself to L’s level and raised the knife. L moved his arm quickly, swiping to knock the knife from Coil’s hand. It was, however far too late, as the knife was already plunging straight into L’s ribs. He tried to scream but he couldn’t find the air. Blood choked him, filling his lungs and trickling from mouth as he coughed. As he felt his vision go dark all he heard from Coil was a satisfied “Hm.”

 

* * *

  


“Matt! Fuck’s sake, stop playing Mario Kart!” Mello said as he clapped Matt around the back of the head. Matt’s hands slipped and his gameboy fell to the ground. _Fuck, I’ve been spotted._ He turned to glare at Mello. He’d been doing this a lot lately, it was getting rather annoying.

 

Mello scooped it up off the ground, hiding it under his leg so Matt can’t get to it. “You haven’t even started your part.” He glared back at Matt before starting to root for his pencil. He hadn’t started the part because this chaos theory shit was dull as fuck. Matt had no idea why Mello and Near tried so hard for something that they both knew they would never get.

 

“Stealing his toy is only going to distract him further,” Near said with an exasperated sigh.

“Exactly,” Matt glanced under the table trying to find his gameboy.

 

Mello glared at Near and was about to say something in response when Linda grabbed the gameboy back. Linda tossed it back to Matt as Mello shouted indignantly. Being friends with someone who isn’t a lunatic occasionally had benefits.

 

“Thanks, babe.” Matt caught it gracefully with a cocky grin.

 

Linda flashed a smile before going back to her note taking.

 

“Can we please stay on topic?” Near sighed with a twirl of his hair. _Yeah, not like you were contributing much_.

 

Mello pulled the textbook that was in front of Near over to his side of the table, blatantly not acknowledging that he had spoken.

 

“In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.” Matt quoted easily, not looking up from his video game “It’s also completely pointless to study,”

 

“Good for you and your photographic fucking memory.” Mello was scribbling in his notebook, practically copying down the textbook word for word at a lightning speed. _Salt._

 

Linda threw a pencil at his head. “Don’t swear.”

 

“Yeah, Mello,” Matt smirked.

 

“Regardless of what you think, Matt, it doesn’t change the fact that some of us _do_ want to surpass B and A,” Near snatched the textbook from Mello with a glare.

 

“Hey! I was using that.” Mello pulled the textbook back, resting his elbow on it heavily to stop Near taking it again.

 

“Get your own,”

 

“Just did.” Mello tapped the book. “This one.”

 

Near glared at Mello, then glanced at Linda and visibly decided not to say anything.

 

“Mello, don’t be a prick,” Matt, however, had less restraint. It also helped that he tended to get away with these sorts of things.

 

Linda pushed her textbook over to Mello, swapping it with Near’s. “Just use this one, Mell.”

 

Mello looked about to argue, but then simply huffed and went back to writing.

Matt glanced up from his game as the door slammed shut. The black figure of Backup loomed from the doorway, a confident smirk on his face. After loomed behind him, a relatively small figure in comparison. _Not this prick again._

 

“Oh boy,” Near said with dripping sarcasm.

 

Linda seemed to shrink slightly in her seat. She crouched over her work in an attempt to not be noticed by Backup. She didn’t like to admit it but everyone knew that she was scared of him. Matt supposes that he can’t exactly blame her.

 

B cast a glance toward the table, his smile widening. As he approached, Near began to tug at his hair far more tightly. Sometimes Matt wonders if B knows that everyone despises him.

 

“Hello, friends,” He said, making sure to direct his stare towards Linda.

 

Linda glanced up slightly but quickly returned to her work when she saw Backup staring at her.

 

“How’s it going?” He said as he peers over their notes.

 

“Yeah, how ‘bout you fuck off, B?” Matt blurted out in irritation.

 

“Sorry?” Backup’s smile widened even further. Matt was filled with the sudden desire to punch him really hard in the face. He has no idea why.

 

Mello looked up at Backup, tucking his hair behind his ear and spoke loudly. “He said how about you fuck off?”

 

“Well, gosh darn, fellows. I’m just trying to be friendly,” Backup’s eyes seemed to shine in the light.

 

“You’re being anything but,” Near glared up at him unflinchingly.

 

“That is very impolite, Near,” Backup turned his eyes directly to him, his mouth twisting into a scowl “A, can you believe them?”

 

A looked up from the textbook he was reading over Linda’s shoulder. “You are a bit of a prick.”

 

Mello sniggered, trying cover it by looking down at his book.

 

“An understatement,” Near said with a smirk.

 

“Well, I’ll admit to that,” B shrugged, the smile becoming more genuine “Shall we?” He beckons toward the door. He lets A get away with everything, contradicting him, insulting him. It has some implications in Matt’s mind.

 

A glanced at B and nodded slightly. He turned back to Linda, tapping the page she was on. “There’s a good book on this. Fiction but it shows it’s effects. The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters. By Andy Andrews. Might help to check it out.”

 

Linda glanced up with a small smile, “Thanks. I’ll see if the library has a copy.”

 

“Tsk tsk, A. Now where will we be if we help our competition?” He put his hand on his shoulder and guided A toward the door.

 

A rolled his eyes. “They’re kids, B. Lay off them a bit.”

 

“No.” B said with a chuckle and led A away from the table.

 

“Swear to god, they are fucking,” Matt commented.

 

Mello glanced up from his textbook, pencil in his mouth. “I called it like a month ago. No one’s that touchy feely without fucking. ‘Specially not B.”

 

“Language, Mells.”

 

“I fail to see how it’s relevant,” Near sighed “A better question is why A puts up with that chicken-shit,” Matt gave a chuckle at that. Near’s curses were a rare blessing.

 

“Because they’re fucking, you twit.” Mello deadpanned.

 

“I think you’re projecting,” Near smirked.

 

“What the fuck am I projecting?” Mello snapped defensively.

 

Linda sighed. “Language.”

 

“I thought that was obvious,” Near smiled mockingly.

 

“Well it obviously fucking isn’t.” Mello went back to his work irritably. He really needs to chill the fuck out. Granted, Matt found himself thinking that about nearly every nutcase at Wammy’s House but Mello was a special case. And he was also his friend so that has to count for something.

 

“It actually is,” Matt sighed, flipping off his Gameboy. In reality he had no fucking clue what Near was on about, but it was fun watching Mello react.

 

Mello huffed, closing his book angrily.

 

“I still don’t see why they’re making us do this,” Matt moaned “It’s obviously not going to help us become L in any way. And plus, we already know about the Butterfly Effect and all that shit, right?”

 

“Matt you haven't done any work on it. If anyone should be complaining it shouldn't be you.” Linda shoved a book over. “If you want to whine, take some notes.”

 

“Fine, fine. I’m just saying. Plus we need to be discussing it, and shit, don’t we?” Matt began playing on his gameboy with one hand and wrote chicken scratch notes with the other. He’ll probably get an 80% anyway. That’s good enough for him. He knows he’ll never beat A and B and he knows that he won’t be happier in the long run if he does.

 

“...It’s a ranking system. It’s not training, it’s a test,” Near bit his lip, staring at Matt’s disturbing handwriting “Though, I do somewhat see what you mean,”

 

Mello put his pen down loudly. “Done.” He had a stack of paper in front of him with nearly the entire chapter on the Butterfly Effect copied out in his scrawl.

 

“Impressive,” Matt said idly. It wasn’t actually it just reaffirmed the fact that Mello was a lunatic, but he was a dedicated lunatic so that helps.

 

“Rather over the top, don’t you think?” Near raised an eyebrow and glanced at his shorter, more concise notes. _Oh for fucks sake._

 

Mello glared at Near. “Well at least I have some fucking information down. Unlike you.”

 

“Jesus, can you two-” Matt was cut off, however by a loud and surprising shout.

 

“Wammy’s back! Wammy’s back!” This prompted several confused glances. Quillish Wammy, the official owner of the House visits often. The official reason is just that he’d like to see the children or ‘checking out the facilities’. No. In reality, Watari was here to observe the potential successors to L, and to redefine the official ranking.

 

Linda looked up, rushing to the door where a crowd of small excited children was gathering. She peered over their heads into the corridor.

 

Mello looked at Matt. “I wonder if L is with him.”

 

Matt snorted. Like L would take time to introduce himself to anyone other than the top two pricks. No, his time was far too precious for that. Matt had long since given up on seeing L face to face, and he thinks that if he did see him? He’d probably break his jaw. Or try at least. Matt had heard conflicting reports on L’s combat prowess.

 

“Unlikely.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and follow, an almost bitter frown on his face.

 

Near glanced at Mello, raising an eyebrow.

 

Mello glared at Near. “What you making that stupid face for?”

 

“Was wondering if you knew what he was pissy about,” Near shrugged and began twirling his hair “That’s all,”

 

Mello frowned and shook his head, looking after Matt. “No idea.”

 

“Hm,” Near began gradually trailing after the two of them “See you there, I guess?”

Mello nodded, quickly joining the crowd around the door.

 

* * *

  
  


B looked back, glancing at the onslaught of children following. Quillsh Wammy stood at the front door, clearly fatigued both physically and emotionally. His usual companion, the one most of the children knew as Ryuzaki, L’s aid to help pick a successor, wasn’t behind him. _Ah, it was today, wasn’t it?_

 

A tapped B’s wrist with a finger subtly, murmuring. “He’s alone. Do you think L is on a case?” B glanced down at A, knowing he was probably just working through his thoughts outloud, not actually expecting, or wanting, an answer.

 

“That’s probably it,” He said with a knowing smirk. There would only be one reason why L wouldn’t join Watari on their rare visits to the orphanage.

 

A frowned slightly when he saw the smirk. “What are you not saying?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” B’s smile disappeared and he looked at A with a faux confused look. He would find out soon enough.

 

A rolled his eyes. “Don’t play innocent, everyone knows you’re not.”

 

Before B could respond, Watari began speaking to Roger and that caught his attention further. Roger’s face lit up with shock. _So it appears that I’m right_.

 

“I will say this, A. Something is wrong,” B crossed his arms. _Things should go smoothly from here._

 

A didn’t react to what B was saying, his entire focus trained on reading Roger’s lips.

 

“You picked it up yet?” B turned his gaze fully toward A.

 

“It’s hard. Watari isn’t facing me and Roger’s reactions are hard to read.”

 

“Think about it. Watari shows up out of nowhere, doesn’t speak to the children eagerly begging for his approval, L or ‘Ryuzaki’ is nowhere to be seen,” B frowned “It’s pretty simple,” B knew it wouldn’t take long for A to realise what had happened.

 

“L’s dead…” A murmured, reading along to what Roger had just said.

 

B’s smile bared teeth. It hadn’t take A long at all to catch on.

 

“Yes.”

 

“After, Backup, please come see me in my office this instant,” Roger said, his voice tired and grim. B turned to A and winked. It was their turn to be the greatest now.

 

A sat down in the chair in front of Roger’s desk once he was in the cramped office, folding his hands in his lap. “Yes Roger?”

“I’m afraid that…” Roger took a seat at his desk chair and looked uncertainly at Watari “L… is dead,”

 

A nodded slightly, not trying to feign surprise. He never pretended to not know something he did. “I had thought as much. How?”

 

Watari spoke from behind Roger. “Stabbed. By Eraldo Coil during the confrontation.”

 

“That’s awfully cold, A,” B said with a mocking smirk.

 

“However,” Watari continued, “I am not here to discuss how L died. I am here to collect his successor.”

 

“And who might that be?” B turned to the old man, his smile dying.

 

Watari kept his gaze on A.  “After. I need you to go pack your belongings so you can come with me and take over L’s place.”

 

B paused at Watari’s bluntness. It’s what he expected but he made it seem like the choice was so obvious and easy. Nevertheless, he put on his confident smirk again and looked down at A.

 

“Well, you win, I guess,” B shrugged “No hard feelings. I’ll always await your call,”

 

A nodded, smiling knowingly. “Won’t be too long before you’ll have to pick up the phone.”

 

“We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. I suggest you pack your things tonight. Backup can help you.”

 

“How generous,” B deadpanned. _I’m not your dog, Wammy_.

 

A nodded at Watari’s obvious dismissal, standing and turning to leave. This time it was him guiding B to the door.

 

B let A’s hand push him gently towards the door, staring at Wammy one last time. He narrowed his eyes as he left the office. “I don’t trust that guy.”

 

“I know you don’t, you’ve told me repeatedly, but L trusted him.” A turned the corner, heading in the direction of their room.

 

They were, inevitably greeted by the sight of four younger kids, trying desperately to not look like they were attempting to eavesdrop. Mello and Near stared at him defiantly while Matt and Linda averted their eyes, Matt in disinterest and Linda in anxiety. These kids, it always seemed like B was tripping over them. They definitely weren’t something he’d miss.

 

“Well, well, well,” B called in a smug tone of voice “If i didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to listen in.”

 

“I can see why you’re L’s successor,” Near replicated the tone with his own level of smugness.

 

B raised an eyebrow. “Must be hard to see that. Considering I’m not. Are you dumb enough not to be able to even eavesdrop properly?”

 

A put his hand on B’s arm. “Lay off them B. Let’s just go pack.” Why the hell should they off them? They’re a bunch of nosey, arrogant kids who need to be shaken down to earth. A bunch of know-it-alls. B knew exactly how to put them back in place.

 

“Though,” B continued, ignoring A “If you really are that stupid, you may not have heard,” His smile turned cruel and he let out a harsh chuckle “Such a shame… he died so young,”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Matt looked up at him with a glare. B smirked. So the kid had been paying attention.

 

“L is dead.” A said bluntly. _Fuckers._

  



	2. Et Tu, Brute

Mello shoved his clothes haphazardly into the bag he'd found in the back of the wardrobe. He didn’t pay mind to what clothes he was grabbing, barely certain they were even his and not Matt’s in his haste.

 

“The fuck are you doing?” Matt says taking his cigarette out from his teeth.

 

“What the fuck does it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving.” Mello punched the clothes down so he could fit more in.

 

“You don’t think that’s a bit dramatic?” He stepped closer and looked over Mello’s shoulder.

 

“Not exactly any reason to stay is there? L’s fucking dead and A’s his successor.” Mello slammed a drawer shut in frustration, getting even angrier when he had to open it again to get more clothes out.

 

Matt pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing condescendingly. _Fucking prick_. “Okay, true but it’s not like we don’t have to help A catch that Coil fucker.”

 

Mello laughed bitterly. “You seriously think A will come to us? You think B would let him?”

 

“Mello, you’re too smart to be this stupid. A is L’s successor. Not that freak,” Matt sighed “Listen, if you stay here you’ll get a sweet job, high pay and a comfortable living space while you wait to get L’s title. If you go out on the street, not gonna lie, you are going to fucking die and not only that but you’ll die freezing and alone.”

 

Mello sat back on his heels, glaring at Matt through his hair. “You don't fucking know that.” He snapped, half knowing what Matt said was probably true.

 

Matt laughs, almost mockingly. “Really? Then what’s your plan, Mello?”

 

“Get a bus into the city.” Mello tried to zip up the bag, swearing when the zipper stuck. He kicked the dresser angrily. Truth be told, he didn’t have a plan and he hated the fact that Matt was pointing that out.

 

“Oh, so at least you’ll starve to death in the city,” Matt slow-clapped sarcastically, “Nevermind then, You’ve _clearly_ got this all figured out.”

 

“I have money. I'm not going to fucking starve, asshole.” Mello finally managed to zip the bag closed.

 

“That a fact? Well, how much then?”

 

“I dunno. Couple of hundred. Enough to keep me alive.”

 

“Yeah, for like a week,” Matt placed a hand on Mello’s shoulder, “Listen, I, as a friend… am asking you to not leave,” He cringed internally, “Asshole” He added hastily.

 

Mello glared, arguing in his head with himself over whether or not to ignore Matt. He dropped the bag, flopping onto his bed. “Fine.”

 

“That was a lot easier than I thought it would be,” Matt’s face lit up with a smile, he sat on the bed with him.

 

Mello flung his leg out, kicking Matt in the thigh. “Shuddup.” He mumbled angrily.

“A compelling argument,” Matt chuckled “But seriously… thanks.”

 

Mello huffed in response, kicking the bag under the bed.

 

There was a light tap on the door.

 

“Yeah, who is it?” Matt called, putting out the cigarette.

 

“Linda can’t sleep,” Near said with no small amount of exasperation.

 

Linda opened the door slightly, sticking her head inside. “Can we come hang out with you guys?”

 

“Yeah sure,” Matt said, quickly putting out his cigarette.

 

Near shuffled in, visibly tired and dishevelled. He sniffed, “You’ve been smoking.”

 

Mello raised an eyebrow at Matt. “I don't know why you try to hide it. He can always smell the smoke.”

 

Linda curled up on Matt's bed, looking at the clothes strewn across the floor. “What were you guys doing?”

 

Matt looked at Mello uncertainly. He looked away, not meeting Linda’s eyes “Just arguing.”

 

“What about?” Near said, his mouth curving slightly.

 

“None of your goddamn business, fucktard.” Mello snapped, pushing the bag further under bed with his foot subtly.

 

Near scoffed and shuffled toward the corner, sitting down onto the carpet. He pulled out a deck of tarot cards and began shuffling them.

 

“It doesn’t matter. I’d imagine several people here are thinking the same thing,” Near began twirling his hair “Even I considered it for a moment.”

 

It was Mellos turn to scoff. “You would die the second you stepped outside.”

 

“I know,” Near frowned “It’s why I decided against it.”

 

Linda leant on her elbow. “Why would you want to leave?”

 

“We’ve been rendered meaningless by…” Near pulled out a card and frowned at it “...A of all people. It only makes sense to try and make it on our own.”

 

“Exactly!” Mello gestured to Near. “Why the fuck should we stay?”

 

Matt sighed “We’ve been over this. Our purpose is to avenge L or some shit right?”

 

Mello lay down. “Yeah, yeah, gotta stay here and not starve. I get it.”

 

“Exactly,” Matt smiled and laid back onto the bed with a sense of satisfaction “Besides… It’d get boring without you.”

 

Linda picked at the pillow in her arms. “I can't believe he's dead.”

 

Near looked away. He began placing cards around him silently.

 

“He’s… gone to a better place…” Matt says, sighing “Probably.”

 

Mello looked over. “Are you kidding? After all the shit L did he isn't going to get into heaven.”

 

“No, he won’t,” Near withdrew a card from the deck and flicked it onto the floor “Mostly because there isn’t an afterlife.”

 

Mello looked like he wanted to kick Near in the head, something that he was genuinely debating doing.

 

“You guys want to sneak out?” Matt said, jolting up, trying to defuse this tense situation.

 

Linda tilted her head slightly. “To where?”

 

“I don’t know, Mello and I know a few spots. Winchester is pretty big,” Matt shrugs, already grabbing his hoodie.

 

“I’ll pass,” Near said.

 

“Nah, you’re coming,” Matt smirked.

 

“I'll go get my shoes.” Linda jumped up, hurrying into the corridor.

 

Mello pulled on a jacket, zipping it up to his throat.

 

Matt walked over to Near and yanked him up by the collar.

 

“Can you not?” Near scowled.

 

“Come on, don’t be a pussy.” Matt grinned toothily in Near’s face.

 

Near looked up at him, he began twirling his hair before reluctantly sighing. “Fine. I’ll go get my coat.”

 

* * *

  


“Oh, Adam, oh Adam…” B whispered as he stepped outside the door to their shared room “Where the fuck did you go?” He slunk quietly down the hallway, towards the back door of the orphanage. _He’s probably in the woods again._

 

He took a look around, making sure that none of the nightguards or, even worse, Roger were out and about. Once he was sure that the coast was clear he stepped outside, making sure to duck below the caretaker’s office window.

 

He was walking towards the edge of the trees when a tile thudded into the grass behind him, followed by a whispered curse. B turned, looking up towards the roof. _Ah, there he is_.

 

“The roof? What are you, 14?” B hissed up at A.

 

A looked down at B, cigarette dangling from his fingers. He rolled his eyes at B’s words.

 

“A cigarette? Do you want to get fucking lung cancer?” B called, slightly louder than was advisable.

 

“Be quiet.” A hissed. “Do you want to get us caught?”

 

_Yes._

 

“Maybe,” B smirked. He stepped into a gap between hedges and the wall. Behind it was the drain pipe that everyone uses to climb up. It didn’t take him long to climb to the top. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

 

A took a drag from his cigarette, looking out over the trees. “Maybe.” He said, imitating B.

 

“Ugh, I thought that sarcastic vague shit died with L,” B scoffed, nervously double-checking A’s lifespan. _It’s fine, he has another fifteen years left. That’s more than most at this cursed institution._

 

A laughed slightly, offering B a cigarette, half out of courtesy, half to annoy B. He knew B hated smoking. “I think it gets passed on to his successor.”

 

B glared at him for a moment. “No thanks. I’m not one for suicide pacts,” B scratched his hair, not sure how to word this “Uh, seriously though. You are okay, right?”

 

A forced a smile. “You’re not very good at this whole ‘supportive boyfriend’ thing are you?” He rested his elbows on his knees, “I’m fine, okay?”

 

 _Perhaps that wasn’t firm enough._ B eyed him suspiciously. “You’re right. I’m not good at being supportive. I am, however, very good at spotting a liar.”

 

A didn’t look at him. “Leave it, Ben.”

 

B frowned. “I don’t think I will.”

 

A stubbed out his cigarette. “Benjamin. Leave it.”

 

“That is my name, yes. Adam, stop trying to change the fucking subject,” He cringed internally at that. Too harsh, A’s going to get defensive.

 

“I’m not changing the subject. I’m telling you to drop the fucking subject.” A clenched his jaw, trying not to snap. _Ah well._

 

B paused. Perhaps putting pressure on him wasn’t the best approach to this. He seemed rather set on not telling him. Perhaps he should take a more emotional approach…?

 

“...Is it something I did?” B looked away “Is that why you ran off?”

 

“No, it's not your fault.”

 

Damn it. He’s rather stubborn about this…

 

“Look, I’m sorry about what I said to those…” He stopped himself from saying little fuckers. “Younger kids.”

 

“I'm not mad about what you said to the kids.” A brushed his hair out of his face.

 

“Then…” B rubbed at his eyes “You’re worrying me, A. Please just tell me what’s wrong?”

 

A was silent, his nails scratching the palm of his other hand religiously. B hated to admit that he wasn’t lying. A was normally so honest and bright and easy to read. _That’s not true and you know it_ , he chastised himself.

 

“Fine. Whatever. Don’t tell me,” B gritted his teeth and looked away. The anger was half genuine. _You’re being awfully stubborn_.

 

“Oh come on. Don't pretend that you care what's wrong. I can spot a liar too, you know.” A snapped, nails digging into his hand as he glared at B. This was unexpected. He hadn’t expected A to be so childish or arrogant.

 

B blinked in surprise. “You think I don’t care?”

 

“Am I wrong?”

 

“Of course I care. A, you know that you mean the world to me,” B reached out. A responded by shoving his arm away. B hated how much that stung.

 

“No I don't. All you care about is L. It's all anyone at this fucking place cares about.” A’s voice was tense and strained.

 

“L is a corpse. Only an idiot worships a corpse,” B sighed “I’m trying to help you.”

 

“Why shouldn't we worship him? He's the reason we’re here. He's the reason we work every fucking day. No one would give a shit about us if wasn't for L. No one gives a shit about us anyways. All they care about is whether or not we can be him. And I'm drowning. I'm drowning just trying to live up to everyone's fucking expectations of what I'm supposed to be. Who I'm supposed to me. And I'm going to spend the rest of my god forsaken life drowning in the pressure of living up to him so why the fuck shouldn't I just jump right now and put myself out of my misery?” A slid down the roof, legs now dangling as he looked down at the ground.

 

“No!” B shouted “He did nothing for you. He’s fucking dead, A! You’re L, not him. He can’t judge you from hell. Fuck him! Fuck Roger! Fuck Wammy! Fuck every single piece of shit in this fucking hellhole! Their opinions don’t _fucking_ matter. You can’t give up now that you’ve won. You can’t just… leave me behind because of _him_ of all people,” B spat the last few words with venom.

 

“I never wanted to win. You did. And… and if I do this then you win. You get to be L. Smiles all round.” A looked back at B with a weak smile. His hands were on the edge of the roof, ready to push himself off. _You idiot. You really think you can defy the eyes?_

 

“You don’t get to fucking do that,” B violently grabbed him by the collar and threw him back onto the flat roof, causing it to crack slightly. He pinned him down, raised his his fist up. “You can’t just…” B lowered it with a sigh and pressed his lips against A’s.

 

A stiffened slightly; he had fully expected B to have punched him. He kissed back for a few seconds before pulling away. “You know, kissing something better is just an expression...”

 

“Yeah, I know,” B smiled sadly at that “Come on, let’s just go to bed and think about this in the morning, alright?”

 

A nodded, pushing B off him to sit up. “Okay.”

 

B glanced again at the lifespan again, reminding himself that everything is going to be alright. No matter how much A wishes for death, he will never be able to change the numbers over his head.

  


* * *

  
  
  


Mello scrambled up to the top of the fence, standing on the cross bar to lean down and pull Linda up behind him.

 

Linda grabbed his arm, using it to pull herself up. They both jumped down on the other side.

 

Matt looked down from the top of the fence to see Near struggling upward. He sighed before offering a hand.

 

“I’m _fine_ ,” Near hissed. Though, he looked up and down nervously before taking it.

 

“Sure you are,” Matt said as they hopped over. Near glared at him for a minute before shifting his gaze to his feet.

 

Mello shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing back at Wammy’s to make sure no one had seen them. “Where'd you guys want to go?”

 

“Tescos obviously,” Matt said, checking to see that the night guards weren’t anywhere to be seen. Near made a note of the fact that he wasn’t asking anybody else.

 

Mello nodded, checking his pocket for his wallet before heading in the direction of town.

 

“Why would you go to a supermarket? What’s there to do at a supermarket?” Near said, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I know a guy who can get us cheap alcohol and cigarettes,” Matt shrugs “Also cheap food.”

 

“Makes sense, I guess,” It didn’t .

 

“Do you know nothing about socialising Near?” Mello looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Not really, no,” Near shrugged.

 

“That’s depressing,” Matt muttered, thinking that Near couldn’t hear it. Or maybe he just didn’t care. The latter was more likely, in Near’s opinion at least.

 

Linda laughed slightly, hearing what Matt said. Near looked at her, cocking his head slightly. She’d been sobbing before, he’d had no idea what she was talking about. But… why was this different for them? Why are they suddenly so ‘chummy’ when before they were screaming at each-other and balling their eyes out. _I don’t understand_.

 

Near sighed. “L’s still dead, this doesn’t change anything.”

 

“We’re kind of trying not to mention that, Near,” Matt scowled.

 

Mello hit Near over the head. “Shut up.”

 

Near grimaced and turned to glare at Mello, nursing the back of his head. Of all people, he wouldn’t have thought him delusional. So this is simply a lie. Near was almost disappointed by that. “Fine, I’ll keep pretending.”

 

“Good,” Matt said as they got out of the woods and into the town.

 

“Can we go to the toy store?” Near said hopefully.

 

Mello rolled his eyes. “Seriously? The toy shop?”

 

“It’s the place that has what I want,” Near glared at Mello. It’s strange that he would be surprised at that.

 

“It's the place that's lame that's what it fucking is.” Mello glared back. Near decided against calling him out on his hypocrisy. _H_ e _’s too weak to take it anyway_.

 

Linda sighed. “Why don't I go with Near to the toy shop and you can go with Matt to Tescos? We can meet by the bus stop.”

 

Near looked at her curiously “You don’t have to do that.”

 

Linda shrugged. “If it'll stop the two of you arguing.”

 

“No, it’s fine. Let’s just go to Tescos,” Near sighed. He hadn’t expected them to agree to it anyway.

 

“See, problem solved,” Matt smirks. As they turned into the main street they started to see a few figures. Only one or two of them were from the House.

 

Mello glared slightly when he saw them. They were a couple of boys he'd gotten in a fight with the week before. Near only cared because the entire orphanage knew about Mello and Feral’s recent fight. He imagined that it was a continued source of annoyance for both.

 

Matt glanced over at Mello. “Isn’t that…?”

 

Mello nodded, hands balled into fists in his pockets

 

“Just try not to get into a fistfight this time,” Matt shrugged.

 

“No promises.” Mello muttered, walking towards Tescos.

 

Near sighed from behind the two of them.

 

“Now arriving at… cheap shit,” Matt called out, louder than he really ought to. He knocked at the glass, a boy with ginger hair and acne on the other side looked over at him from inside.

 

“Friend of yours?” Near raised an eyebrow.

 

“You guys go ahead,” Matt winked “I’ll get the good shit.”

 

“Don't get that disgusting shit you drink.” Mello said before heading to the sweets aisle.

 

Linda followed, making a beeline for the bags of haribo sweets.

 

Near looked at the aisle and reluctantly followed, once again wondering why he agreed to come here. There was an assortment of sweets there. Gummy bears, sour squirms, chocolate… They came to forget about L’s death. It wasn’t working.

 

Mello and Linda walked along the aisle, dumping chocolate and sweets into their basket. These we quickly joined by energy drinks and vimto.

 

“This seems redundant,” Near sighed, grabbing a few energy drinks of his own. He hated the taste but they served a purpose.

 

“How is this redundant?” Mello glared at Near. _As if you don’t know._

 

“You aren’t going to be able to consume all of this,” Near shrugged.

 

“Says you, prick.” Mello snapped, walking to the counter to pay. _He’s awfully hostile today._

 

“You don’t have to be personally offended by everything I say,” Near glared at him.

 

“Stop acting like a killjoy shit all the time and I won’t be.”

 

“Do you two have to argue constantly?” Linda spoke up. “Can't you just get along for _one_ night?”

 

Near looked at her, then at Mello. The fact that she expected everything to be alright the day after L’s death was announced says a lot about how ridiculously naive she was. But, she could get away with it, in Near’s eyes. “Fine, I’ll try not to be a ‘killjoy shit.’ Okay, Mello?”

 

“Sounds good to me.” Mello turned on his heel, continuing on his way back to Matt.

 

Linda sighed, trailing after him and murmuring something about how annoying boys are.

 

As they reached the counter, Near became more aware of the amount of looks he was getting. That was what generally happens when he goes outside. He placed the energy drinks he’d gotten onto the counter, careful that they didn’t fall over.

 

Mello put the basket down heavily next to Near’s drinks, knocking a couple of them over.

 

“Prick,” Near muttered as he moved to set them right again.

 

Linda stepped round the boys to pay; it was her turn and she was the only one who hadn’t already spent her monthly allowance.

 

Near zoned out as she began to get her money, his eyes focusing on a figure outside the window. Matt was nowhere to be seen but… someone was just staring at them. And then they moved on in a hurry, almost nervous. Based on the height, Near would have to guess someone between 17 and 35. If they paid special attention to them it had to be…

 

“Excuse me,” Near said as he stepped around Linda and headed toward the doors. He had a very bad feeling about this.

 

A walked away from the shop hurriedly. He didn’t know whether or not any of the kids had seen him, and if they did, whether they recognised him. He adjusted the bag on his back and pulled his hood up to hide his face.

 

Near stepped outside despite the bewildered looks given by Mello and Linda. From the brief glance that he saw before the figure turned the corner, they were wearing a backpack and a hoodie.

 

 _Interesting._ He thought as he began to follow. He turned the corner also and saw the figure trying to hurry away from him. _Maybe I could get them to engage with me?_

 

“Why were you staring at us?” Near called out.

 

A didn’t stop, shoving his hands into his pockets and slouching in an attempt to make himself less recognisable. He was nearly at the bus station; just a few more minutes walk, even less with the rate he was moving at.

 

“Not answering me only makes you more suspicious,” Near said with a smile, as he followed with more haste. They were clearly looking to be somewhere, they believe that they’ll be safe once they get there. Based on the backpack, they’ve either just got here or they’re just leaving.

 

A knew this. He also knew that if he did stop to let Near catch up, or if he replied to him, Near would know who he was.

 

There were a few candidates. The most likely ones being Coil or B, or perhaps just someone working for Coil. But they’d have no way of knowing that they’d be there at that exact minute. Near checked to see if his phone had charge, in case he had to call Mello. As he rounded the corner, he saw them slow down as they reached what was presumably their destination. _A bus station._

 

“B?!” Near shouted, hoping that he would stop. He picked up his pace again to catch up, lapsing into a strange half jog.

 

A kept walking but it seemed like the kid really wanted to stop him leaving. He shouldn’t’ve looked at them through the window, but it was odd to see even rule abiding Near out after hours.

 

_Hm. If this is B, I’ll have to test his ego._

 

“Coward!” Near shouted.

 

A didn't take the bait and only leant against the wall of the shelter to wait for his bus. He kept his hood up, his face hidden except for the few locks of hair that fell into view.

 

As Near got closer, he saw strands of blonde hair. _Not B._

 

“Who are you?” Near demanded.

 

A cleared his throat, switching his natural, mostly British accent for a jarring American one. “What’s it to you?”

 

Near narrowed his eyes. “A, changing your accent doesn’t make you unrecognisable.”

 

“Dammit…” A muttered, voice back to normal. He pulled down his hood, turning so he could see Near. “What do you want, Near?”

 

“I want to know what you’re doing and why,” Near said, the underlying demand rather clear “Though, the former is rather clear.”

 

“If you want to be L so bad, you should be able to work out why.”

 

Near paused for a second. “You don’t want to be L?”

 

“Bingo.” A sighed, standing up straight when he saw the bus approaching.

 

“So what? You’re leaving it to that maniac?” Near snarled “You can’t just do that.”

 

“B’s not a maniac. Besides, he’d do a better job as L than I ever would.” A apathetic, resigned, as he picked up his bag, slinging it onto his back and getting out his wallet.

 

“You’re being a coward, you know?” Near murmured. _Not to mention an idiot._ “I feel ashamed to have ever respected you.”

 

“Honestly? I don't give a fuck. I might be a coward but at least I'm not L.” A stood by the doors of the bus, waiting for them to open.

 

“I’d say I wish you the best but I don’t,” Near turned his back on A “I hope I never have to see you again.”

 

“Have a good life, Near. Do something useful with it.” A spoke to his back. And then he got on the bus, not looking back as he took a seat.

 

In the distance Near heard a church bell ring through the entire city. Perhaps it was just his imagination. Near slumped back down onto the bench, defeated. He’d lost. Not just the succession but… everything. This is it. Wammy’s House took him in, used him for what he had and then spat him out. He felt… hollow. It should have been A, A was the perfect candidate, A would allow him a chance at his own goals but…

 

No, nothing was perfect about A. He was a liar and a coward. He deluded himself into thinking that he had a choice and left the title in the hands of a madman. B cannot be L. Near knew this for a fact. Anyone but B.

 

This is B’s doing. A, the idiot that he was, had allowed B to play him like a puppet. All of this suits B and only B, it’s the only thing that makes sense. He latched himself onto A so that he could manipulate him into giving him the title. From this recent revelation about how weak A really was, this would not have been hard.

 

Near sat there for a while. Hours even. He couldn’t bring himself to stand. He was so angry at A, at everything. There was nothing in his hands to keep him distracted so he began to roughly pull at his hair; he found it only made him more angry.

 

“You okay?” He heard Matt say behind him. He was wondering why the air smelled of cancer.

 

“No,” Near muttered, noticing how freezing it was.

 

“...Figured.” Matt said “You know, they’re probably looking for us.”

 

“You think?” Near sighed.

 

“Mmhm,” Matt walked up next to him, throwing his cigarette onto the ground without bothering to put it out “Come on smartass, let’s go home.”

 

Near smiled sadly at Matt’s attempt at humour. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both of us are going back to school this week so we're not sure how fast future chapters will be coming out. We'll try our hardest though! And once again, please comment. It's so helpful and motivating for us.


	3. A Change in Initial Conditions

B jolted upright, his eyes flicking open. _Another nightmare. This is the third in the last week._ He looked toward the other side of the bed.

  
A’s gone. Well, that’s not unusual. He tended to get up to study. But there weren’t the usual tell tale signs of A getting up for the day. His pyjamas weren’t folded and placed on his pillow like normal, nor was his school books missing from their shelf; in fact, the room looked exactly like it had when they had fallen asleep.

 

 _Troubling._ He sighed and got out of bed. If A’s run off and climbed another roof, B will be very annoyed. He checked the clock. 6:12am. Unusual for A to be up this early. He picked his jacket up from the ground and opened the door leading into the corridor. The orphanage was quiet at this time of day; most of the kids who were awake were still in their rooms, or mooching down to the kitchen to have an early bite to eat. The hallway lights were still flicked off but the light filtering in through the windows was bright enough to see by. B walked quietly down the corridor, turning the corner to head towards the library

 

A had no reason to study. Maybe he left with Watari. A made it pretty clear last night that he held no real affection or feelings for B. Unfortunate but… Well. It didn’t matter. B climbed up the stairs, careful not to make any noise. _That weakling better not have gone through with it_. B bit his lip and pushed the library door open.

 

Mostly empty… Well, it usually is at this time. B glared at the kids who were laughing in the corner. They immediately shut up and went back to pretending to study. B scanned the room quickly. A wasn’t at his normal table. He wasn’t at any of the tables.

 

Hm. The girl who is always near the third, fourth and fifth successors was sat crouched, reading in a corner. He took a look at the book… It’s the one that A recommended. B gritted his teeth at the irrational anger that brought upon him. _Georgia Ruvie. 365512._

 

Linda shifted as she felt eyes on her. She glanced over the top of the book to see B’s eyes trained on her. Wait no, not on her, but just over her head.

 

“Linda, is it? Do you know where After is by any chance?” B said, approaching Linda with a smirk.

 

Linda looked shocked, taking a moment to gather her voice. “D-didn’t he tell you?” She had shrunk back slightly as B approached.

 

B’s smirk dissolved instantly. This girl’s stupidity wasn’t something B had the patience to appeal to. “Well, if I’m asking obviously he didn’t fucking tell me, now did he?”

 

Linda somehow managed to look even more scared than before. “He left last night…” She mumbled from behind her book.

 

B stared at her for a minute. Her meek stammering took a while to translate. “Right, I see. I don’t believe you, though. So I’ll repeat. Where is the current L?”

 

“I don’t know. Near told me that he saw A get on a bus… last night.” Linda cowered back, ready for B to explode.

 

“Haha. I’m laughing. Is this your idea of a fucking joke?” B scowled, slamming his fist against a bookshelf, sending it crashing to the floor.

 

Linda jumped in her seat, looking on the verge of tears. “I’m not lying.”

 

B’s scowl turned into a smile and he got even closer. “I don’t care what you say. Tell me what I need to know, Georgia Ruvie. And I’ll go away.”

 

“I-I don’t know where A is. I promise.”

 

“B, fuck off,” A voice sounded from the corner. Ah. Fifth place. How delightful.

 

“Nobody was talking to you, Matt,” B scowled. “But by all means, if you have something to add to this chat, go right ahead.”

 

He started walking closer. His eyes had bags under him and he looked as if he hadn’t showered. “Yes. I do actually. He doesn’t want anything to do with L, left the title to you, generally just a coward but I’m guessing he got that from you,” He scowled at B. “Oh and he left on a bus to the city.”

 

Linda took the opportunity to slip out of her chair and over to Matt while B was distracted, A’s book held tight against her chest.

 

B stepped forward, contemplating. It matched Ruvie’s story. A running away would not be out of character for him, due to recent revelations. _Coward. Worthless, worthless coward._ Well, in any case, he has no choice but to believe the worthless parasites. “I see, thank you very much for your information.” B said as he approached closer. They locked eyes for a second before B grabbed Matt by the collar and punched him hard in the face. Linda’s hand covered her mouth as she let out a frightened gasp.

 

Matt grabbed his nose and snarled. “This is all your fucking fault, B.”

 

“Maybe. Though, you had your contribution as well. In any case I’m finished.” B bowed, smirking “Good day to you both.”

 

Linda let out the breath she was holding with a sigh of relief as B left, her shoulders untensing.

 

“Fuck, I hate that guy.”

 

“So do I.” Linda sat back down her in her chair, opening her book to continue reading. After a few seconds she looked up at Matt. “I wonder why A didn’t tell B. I thought he liked him.”

 

“Maybe A finally wisened up and realised what a piece of shit he was. Unlikely though. I heard him talk before he was leaving, he still seems to like B for some fucking reason,” Matt grabbed at his nose again, wiping away the blood on his sleeve. “I think he was just worried about B finding him.”

 

Linda nodded, turning back to her book with a thoughtful hum. “I wonder where A went.” She thought aloud.

 

“Hell, hopefully,” Matt scowled.

 

Linda frowned at Matt, but didn’t respond.

 

“Ugh, I think my nose is broken. I’m going to go to the infirmary, see ya,” Matt stopped “Also, reminder not to tell Mello yet. We’re clear on that, right?”

 

Linda nodded. “Of course. I’m not an idiot, Matt.”

 

“Eh, debatable.” Matt smiled. “Though, I can’t talk seeing as how I baited someone with a history of violence into punching me in the face. So… anyway. Bye, Lin,”

 

“Bye Matt.” Linda smiled slightly at him before turning back to her book.

 

* * *

 

Near sat in criminal profiling, idly listening to Mello rant in his ear. He felt restless and drained from lack of sleep and Mello wasn’t doing much to improve his mood. So apparently Matt was using the fact that B punched him in the face as an excuse to miss class. It wasn’t completely out of character for him. Of course… Matt was also playing the ‘concerned’ friend and keeping A’s disappearance from Mello.

 

“...and it’s not like I can’t guess what he did! He must’ve provoked B again like the stupid twat he is.”

 

Near looked at Mello for a second before sighing and going back to scribbling down notes from the textbook. Not that there’s much point anymore. None of them will get the title. “It’s not really his fault that B is insane.”

 

Mello was tapping his pen angrily on his book. “Yes, but Matt always tells me what he’s done. Brags about it in the hallway. He doesn’t shrug me off”

 

Again, Near stopped scribbling to sigh. “Maybe the difference arises from the fact that B punched him in the face this time?”

 

“B’s punched him before.” Mello wrote down a few words of notes, too distracted by Matt and B to be paying much attention.

 

“You misspelt analysis,” Near said, resting his chin on his arms without looking at Mello, idly watching the specialist going through profiles of past criminals. Someone who worked with the previous L.

 

Mello glared at Near, scratching through the word and rewriting it.

 

Near glanced at Mello. He was obviously irritated, and not just at Near for once. Matt was being awfully condescending and Mello’s bound to find out eventually. Near placed tapped onto Mello’s shoulder before tearing a piece of his exercise book off. He grabbed his pencil and wrote, ‘A ran away. That’s probably why they fought.’

“I think the fact that that was a note should tell you not to overreact to that,” He hissed.

 

Mello glanced at Near, before pulling the note closer to read it. Shock flashed across his face but was quickly replaced with annoyance. “Why the fuck hasn’t anyone told me?”

 

 _Fuck._ Near thought. And this was the fault in Near’s logic. “Matt was worried you might try and run away again.” He whispered.

 

Mello crumpled the note in his fist, throwing it back across the desk at Near. He picked his pen back up and glared down at his work.

 

Near eyed Mello, wondering if he’d made a mistake. No doubt, Mello will be angry at Matt and Linda for a while but that would have happened anyway. “I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry.”

 

After a few minutes of angry silence from Mello, the door to the classroom opened quietly. Watari stood in the doorway, eyes scanning the seated children. The teacher, Ms Aires, stopped mid sentence. She walked over to Watari and talked to him in hushed tones. The short conversation was one of furrowed brows, shaking heads, and subtle glances at the students.

 

Near glanced nervously at Mello. “Do we…?”

 

Mello looked over at them. He shrugged. “Well, apparently it’s none of my business.”

 

 _He’s pissy with me again._ “I did just tell you, you know. It was Matt who thought you shouldn’t know.”

 

“You _could’ve_ told me hours ago. You could’ve told me when you found out.” Mello glared.

 

Near brought his fingers to his hair, beginning to twirl one of his curls tightly. . “...If Matt had asked you to keep a secret from me, would you have just told me the instant you saw me?”

 

Mello hesitated slightly. “Depends on the secret.”

 

“I doubt you’d draw the line here,” Near glanced at Watari. He heard the mention of the word ‘Backup’. “They’re talking about B…”

 

“Probably about his rampage in the library. He’s supposed to be in this class.” Mello looked around, double checking that B was missing.

 

“Yeah, that’s probably it,” Near swallowed, A’s words echoing in his head. He only implied he’s leaving the title to B… but maybe he took more direct measures…? He gritted his teeth and began scribbling notes back onto his page.

 

Mello watched the conversation for a while longer, trying, and failing, to read their lips. He groaned, frustrated by his failure, and turned back to his work.

 

The bell rang before Near could finish his sentence. He closed his book and headed to the cafeteria, stopping to glance at Mello. Other than the initial reaction, he’s taking this way better than expected… Is he hiding something?

 

Near was right to be suspicious. Despite the outward appearance of vague indifference, Mello’s mind was whirling a mile a minute. Thoughts and questions were barely being formed in his head before being replaced by another. But one thought stayed, like the way bright lights leave spots in your vision. _It’s possible to leave._

 

Near narrowed his eyes. “Cafeteria is this way,” Near gently tapped Mello’s shoulder as he began to veer towards the dorms. _He’s always up to something. Knowing Mello he’s probably going to try some melodramatic shit and then Matt will talk him down._

 

Mello blinked a couple times, so engaged in his own thoughts that it took a moment to process what Near had said. He scowled. “I know that, you twerp.”

 

Near rolled his eyes. “That’s a new one,” He shuffled toward the cafeteria, his eyes still on Mello. _But I can’t let him out of my sight, can I?_

 

Mello dumped his stuff at their usual table once they reached the cafeteria, before joining the snaking line to get food.

 

Near sat at the table. He was rarely hungry at this time… or at all for that matter.

 

Mello seemed to be in a rush though...

 

Mello did seem impatient. His fingers tapped against his leg as the line moved slowly. Although, that could easily be blamed on what might be the most inefficient way to get food in existence.

 

Matt cut in the line and stepped right behind Mello, much to the annoyance of the kid behind him. “Hey buddy, what’s up?”

 

Mello refused to even glance at Matt. “I know A ran away. Did you seriously think I wouldn't find out?”

 

Matt paused, looking around to see if anyone heard that. _This is bad_. “Uh… no. I was… waiting for Watari to announce it actually.” Near? It must have been him. Fucking prick can’t take instructions, good to know.

 

“Right. Because you always wait to tell me things.” Mello crossed his arms, words dripping with sarcasm.

 

“For fucks sake, Mello. When L died you tried to run away. You know why I did it,” Matt snapped. The other kids were now looking at them and the cafeteria started going quiet. “Did Near tell you?”

 

Mello turned round to glare at Matt, not caring that the line had moved forward. “Who else would've fucking told me? Or does the rest of this god forsaken orphanage know what happened as well?”

 

Matt rolled his eyes and brought his hand up to his face. “Well, they do now, dumbass.”

 

Near stared at the argument in slight confusion. _Well, he’s not being particularly subtle._

 

Mello’s jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists. “I’m not hungry.” He walked away from the line, only pausing to grab his bag from the table.

 

“What are you doing?” Near asked suspiciously. Matt strolled up toward the table, pushing someone out of his way in doing so.

 

“Why the fuck should I tell you?” Mello shot one last glare at Matt before storming out.

 

“Don’t be a coward, Mello,” Near said, loud enough for the entire room to hear.

 

“Uh… Near?” Matt said in disbelief.

 

Mello slammed the cafeteria door behind him. Linda, who had just walked in, was left staring at the aftermath in confusion.

 

“Fuck, where’s he going?” Matt sighed in frustration before pushing the door open to follow.

 

Matt found Mello in their room, sitting at their desk with a textbook open in front of him.

 

He raised an eyebrow at him. He just left to study? Well, that’s a relief. A bit weird but relieving. “Uh… you okay?”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Ah,” He smiled slightly before moving into the room and sitting on his bed. “Does it help if I say I’m sorry?”

 

“No. It doesn’t.” Mello didn’t look up from his book, even though he had been reading the same line over and over.

 

 _He’s such a baby._ Matt rolled his eyes and sat back onto his bed. “It was fucked up of me but… you know? Even Near thought you were about to run away. Or like, shoot B. But that’s less cowardly and… not advised? I guess.”

 

“I don’t have a gun to shoot him with.” Mello’s body language hadn’t changed, but his voice was a little lighter.

 

 _Progress maybe?_ Matt shrugged. “Eh, I figure you’d find a way.”

 

A small smile tugged at the corners of Mello’s mouth.

 

“I mean, I’m down for shooting B to be honest,” Matt sighed. “Fuck that guy.”

 

Mello hummed an agreement.

 

* * *

  


_Three days later_

 

B sat in his bedroom, staring out the window. He can’t sleep. He can never fucking sleep. It was better when Adam was here. At least it gave him something to focus on. Now… In his hand, he clutched a single picture of the one known by the alias Eraldo Coil. Joshua Kale, 365580. He never thought of the paradox that being L would present him. There’s no fun in it; he knows he’s going to win. ‘Eraldo Coil’ was set to die in the next few months. A should have been L. But no, A gets to live a comfortable life and die in his thirties. Longest lifespan at Wammy’s.

 

His eyes went wide as the phone next to him rings. _Blocked number…?_ He smiled knowingly and picked up the phone.

 

“Hello, A.”

 

“It’s nearly four. You should be asleep.” A’s voice was just loud enough to be heard over the faint noise in the background. An engine and the regular click clack of train tracks.

 

“Haha! That’s rich,” B grinned. “Why’d you call then, _friend_?”

 

“You’re the next L; you should be able to figure it out.” A faint smile was clear in A’s voice, but it had disappeared when he next spoke. “I called to see how you are.”

 

B ignored that last bit. “Well, L didn’t figure it out did he? Who’d have thought that the golden boy of Wammy’s was so weak?” B’s smile only grew. “You should have seen the old man’s face when he gave _me_ everything.”

 

A light chuckle came through the phone speaker. “I’m sure it was. Is that how I’m known now? The coward of Wammy’s?”

 

Well, B can admire his attitude at least. “Only to me,” His smile dropped completely. “Half of these worthless fuckers don’t even know that you’re gone.”

 

“Good to know you’re still just as affectionate when I’m not around.”

 

“It’s true.”

 

For a while the only noise coming through the phone was the train. Then, “How are you?”

 

“Angry. And bored,” B looked at the picture again. He isn’t sure who he hates the most at the moment. “And how are you, Adam?”

 

“Tired but… better than I have been for a long while.”

 

 _You should have jumped._ “How sweet.”

 

“You’ll make a better L than I could’ve, Benjamin. A better L than even the original was.”

 

 _If I ever see you again, I’ll paint L’s grave in your blood._ “You lost the right to use my real name, Adam,” B said tonelessly.

 

“I know you’re angry at me for leaving but…” A took a deep breath. “Look, you stopped me jumping and I never thanked you for that. So, thank you. That’s all I wanted to say.”

 

B gritted his teeth. “I’d say that I wish you the best but… that’d be a lie.”

 

“I know. I’m sure you can’t wait for me come crawling back to you once my life goes to shit.”

 

 _Actually, I’m counting the days till your lifespan reaches zero._ “If I have one thing to tell you, A, it’s this. Don’t come back.”

 

“Where I’m going, I won’t be able to come back. Goodbye, Benjamin.” The sound of the train had imperceptibly been getting louder. Now it was nearly drowning out A’s words as though the train was nearly on top of him. The line went dead, the noise replaced with a soft beep.

 

B sat there. Somehow more angry than he began. What the hell does that even mean? He hates A. He decides that right there. He loathes him more than anything. More than he ever hated Roger, or Wammy, or _L._ He hates the fact that with two words, A turned his anger into nothing but a hollow emptiness. He’s never going to see him again. He’s never going to be able to break his nose or slice his throat. He doesn’t even know if he wants to. It’s all gone now. L won in the end and it was that _coward_ who handed him the victory.

 

He stood up and walked over to A’s desk. B had gotten rid of all of his stuff when he realised A was gone. All of it except for one thing. A birthday gift from A. The book, ‘The Outsiders’, was A’s favourite… he’d annotated it and tried to get him to read it with him but… B never particularly liked it. He read it, and pretended to like it, for A, but it was too depressing. He grit his teeth and picked it up, taking a brief look through the pages. A’s notes were always so enthusiastic. It probably would have ruined it for someone else. Once he reached the last one, ‘I hope you enjoyed it!’ He felt a pain in his chest. Strange… he’ll never understand A. He grabbed a lighter from his drawer and stared at the cover one last time before setting it alight. The pain in his chest grew when he threw it in the bin, watching it all go to ash. This won’t help him forget but… it’s wishful thinking on his part.

 

* * *

 

Mello tapped his pencil against his teeth, leaning over the table. “That sentence is awkward. Switch the clauses around.” He pointed to which part he meant.

 

“They’re not going to care all that much about the order of our clauses in sentences.” But she changed it around all the same.

 

“And yet you change it,” Matt rolled his eyes. “You guys need to chill out.”

 

“You need to stop insisting your dumb philosophy of not caring about anything onto everyone else,” Near muttered, loud enough that Matt could hear him.

 

“Touchy,” Matt raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“The nuances of language are important, Matt.” Mello sat back down in his chair, pencil still tapping.

 

“Pfft. The nuances of language can suck a dick,” Matt smirked at Mello. _He seems better. Less pissed off._ Matt briefly caught Near narrowing his eyes at him but it was gone in a flash.

 

“The nuances of language don’t have mouths to suck a dick with.” Mello shot back in good faith.

 

“The nuances of language manage anyway because the nuances of language don’t give a flying fuck,” Matt smirked.

 

“The nuances of language would like to ask you kindly to shut up.” Linda tucked her hair behind her ear.

 

“I’d agree with the nuances with language,” Near said flatly. “Are we done then?” He looked toward Mello and Linda, blatantly skipping over Matt. _Fuck you too, snitch_.

 

“Well if we are then I’m going to the loo.” Mello stood up, pencil still hanging out his mouth.

 

Matt raised an eyebrow. “Uh… okay. Don’t we have to present in like, fifteen minutes?”

 

Mello gave him an odd look. “Jesus, how long does it take you to take a whizz? I’ll be back before we have to present. Calm down.”

 

Matt bit his lip and was about to reply before deciding against it.

 

Mello walked out the room, waiting for the door to close behind him and block him from view before he started to run down the corridor and back to the dorms. He had a countdown in his head, the seconds ticking away. After five minutes they’d wonder where he was, ten and Matt or Near would start looking for him, fifteen and they’d tell someone. And he’d get caught. He skidded to a halt once he reached his room. The duffel bag was under his bed where he’d left it. All his clothes and important possessions were inside. Now all he needed was money.

 

He knew where Matt kept his. It was inside a ceramic piggy bank, shaped to look like a mushroom from one of his stupid video games. It was the kind with no plug to get the money out, the kind you had to smash. He felt a pang of guilt when he broke it but didn’t hesitate as he gathered up the notes lying amongst the broken shards. He shoved the money into his pockets and left the room with his bag.

 

Five minutes had passed.

 

It didn’t take Mello long to get to the entrance of the orphanage. The gates were unlocked during the day and everyone was in their classrooms. All he had to do was push them open and start walking. That was exactly what he did.

 

By the time fifteen minutes had passed, Mello was already on a bus out of the city. He, like A, rode the bus until it’s last stop before transferring to another to get even further away. And he, like A, didn’t look back once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! It helps with motivation way more than you'd think.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, comment, comment. It helps way more than you'd think. I don't think I can stress that enough.


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